I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize