His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
