I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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