Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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