...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
