I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
