so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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