This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
