no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You ruined the universe
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
