Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
This toilet bowl is my home.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize