Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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