How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
