She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
