If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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