I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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