I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
