Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize