She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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