Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
