If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
