I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
