it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Randomize
