How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
