well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
