I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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