my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Do you have feelings for this penis?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
