so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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