we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
