My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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