You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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