Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
