Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
