This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I could make wine with my vomit
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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