I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize