Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
