Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
two words: eviction party
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
