I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
