You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
