Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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