Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize