I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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