So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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