ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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