You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
