What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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