mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
