dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
