I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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