Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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