sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
there is glitter all over my balls
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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