I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
