My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize