JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I look better un-naked...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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