How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
