no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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