She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
