You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize