At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
