I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
