didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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