Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
